Obsessed Much

I am becoming more and more aware of my ocd tendancies! I have started my new training plan for my May 10th 1/2 Marathon and I am obsessed. If I don't get those runs in then I feel like I have failed a test! I study the training plan and retype it in my calendar. I am such a worry wart and studier that I have to know everything for the whole 16 weeks on the first day.

So, as I start this training plan and have become fully committed and vested in the training I am also attempting to let go a little. I am still determined to get every long run in that I can and stick as close to the plan as possible. However, I am also trying to spend time letting go. Letting go of the fears and hold backs I have had in my runnning, letting go of my obsession with running, letting go of my thoughts when I am running. Just Let GO! That is slowly becoming a motto.

Ask any of my friends, if I could get paid to run and talk about running, I would be a happy camper. For 2 years now I have been, what I call, a pseodo-runner. There is nothing wrong with taking walk breaks, but for me it has become a crutch. I had convinced myself that I can't do any better so I didn't try. This year however, I have started to change my thinking. No longer is that okay.

Over the past few weeks I have started to slowly turn my thinking from a "this is good enough", to "I can do better". I have started pushing my running time. I am proud when I complete a 4 mile run with no walk break! I actually answer people with a fanatic YES when they ask me if I am a runner. I no longer feel the need to qualify that with, kinda. I AM A RUNNER!

Just wanted to put that out there. I don't run because I am being chased. I run because I enjoy the feeling of my feet hitting the ground (or treadmill) and the calm and patience it gives me when I am done. I run becaues it is setting a good example for my daughters. I run because when stress of my job and life in general starts to be to much, running lets it out. Most importantly I RUN!